How My Death Saved My Life by Denise Linn

Author:Denise Linn
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Hay House
Published: 2010-08-11T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER EIGHT

Adrift

(1969–1970)

We are born of sky, stars, and spirit, yet when we meld into a physical form, we forget the far-reaching mystery that dwells in our depths. As with an underground river that we only see where it surfaces, I’d have glimpses and memories of the infinite golden land, but then it would disappear, buried deep in the aquifer of my being. These glimpses became my sacred pact with myself to always remember the truths that I realized in my short time there. But it was so easy to forget.

AS SOON AS I SAW RON AT THE AIRPORT, I threw myself into his supple arms. I was so glad to be back. When we arrived home, it smelled good and wholesome. Ron had picked wildflowers and had filled our farmhouse with canning jars full of them. He went into the kitchen to make a late lunch, and I went into the bedroom to begin to unpack.

A cold shudder suddenly ripped through my body. Lying haphazardly on the dresser was a photo of a smiling, naked women posed on Ron’s bed … on our bed!

My face grew hot, and my fingers tingled as I held the photo in my hand. I turned it over. On the back she’d written, “I thought you’d like this reminder of our time together.” I sank onto the bed.

“Denise, what do you think about having potatoes with . . .”

Ron stopped in mid-sentence as he steppe d into the bedroom and saw me holding the photo.

“Oh, don’t pay any attention to that,” he spoke quickly. “We’re old friends, and she was just joking around.”

“But Ron … ,” I said in shock. I couldn’t take my eyes off the photo. “She’s lying on our bed!”

“Oh, she must have done this as a joke when she was visiting.

It’s nothing,” he replied jauntily.

I desperately wanted to believe him. He had told me he loved me and that I was the most important woman in his life. I needed to believe him. So I did. I was so used to suppressing my feelings while living with my mother and father that I just suppressed my disappointment and sadness in all aspects of my life.

Life continued much as before. I kept up my journalism studies and still worked on the newspaper, and Ron and I went on living together. We had so much in common—we were both passionate about peace, creativity, and good music—but somehow something had changed. I never mentioned the photo again, but it weighed on me like a heavy stone sinking to the bottom of the sea.

I DECIDED TO GO TO HAWAII for a semester to do a research project for my journalism major, but it really was an escape, a way to sort out my feelings about Ron. Also, Heather, who was 17 now, had run away to live in Hawaii, and I wanted to see her again. I was 19 at the time. I once again pooled together all the money I’d made at the paper and found a cheap student flight.

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